this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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