is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
