And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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