I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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