so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
