i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
