she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Terrible idea I love it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
