Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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