i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
