Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize