Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
