Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw a hot homeless man
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
