I hope mine doesn't look like that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
