Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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