Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
