she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
