Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
