insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
