Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
