I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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