Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
