She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
BRING THE BAGELS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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