I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
