the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize