I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
