If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
