He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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