What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
