a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
