well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
