i think my mom watched the whole time
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
