I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
