so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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