Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize