Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize