that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
