she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
