Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
