I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
