yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
