he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
