p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
