A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
