I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My dick has a subreddit
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize