WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
