dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
