when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bang-toberfest begins!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
