Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pappa wants mamma naked
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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