He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
