His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
