i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
