Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize