I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
