His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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