All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
