so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
