What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Vodka?
Forever.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
