so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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