Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently you make a good broom.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My dick has a subreddit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
