you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
