I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
